Project: Karezi
by AkuBeku
Summary: Eight months after the end of SBURB and Dave and Jade are sick to death of Karkat and Terezi's unresolved tension. (Rated for language)
1. War's Over

**Ok well I'll just start off by saying this.**

**Jessica.**

**I.**

**Am.**

**So.**

**Incredibly.**

**Sorry.**

**I KNOW I'm meant to be writing Invincible but I've promised myself I'll start posting it once I've reached 10 chapters and I'm up to chapter 6 right now.**

**I PROMISE you the first chapter will come out before the end of this week and from then onwards there'll be at least one chapter a week.**

**I just wanted to get this idea off my chest, so this is gonna be a chapter-a-day kinda thing and idk it's kind of OOC (As is really OOC oh my god)**

**Give me ownership of Homestuck and I am yours forever.**

* * *

Your name is Jade Harley and you can't remember jack shit!

You look around the patch of land you're on with dazed eyes...

John, Rose, Dave and the trolls that still remain alive are staring at you with concern. In the near distance, you can see Jake, Dirk and Roxy gathered around an equally confused Jane. Even further back is a carapacian man and a woman that looks kind of like Bec with wings (The White Queen?) embracing and talking quietly to each other about something, and even FURTHER back then that...

Is Davesprite... but he looks like he's talking to someone else... someone being covered up by the group crowding around you...

You try to think back to what happened...

Something... something strange...

You were talking to Jake about his god tier clothes and then there was this strange noise?

And then...

And then you were really angry...

And then you woke up here.

"Wha... what hap- OOF!"

You're cut off by Rose, flinging herself at you and saying something about missing you. John joins the embrace in an instant and the two then turn to Dave, who gives a genuine smile and hugs you as well.

After the happy friendhug finishes, you return to your question, "What happened? I can't remember anything."

John's eyes darken, "The batterwitch took control of you. She made you do these horrible things, but they were never really you, it was all HER using your body and powers, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it. Did I do something... you know... irreversable."

Karkat speaks up for the first time and you realise this is actually the first time you've met him in person, "Yeah, you killed Lalonde Senior over there a few times, but she always came back so I guess that was a stupid thing to mention because it wasn't really irreversable and now you just feel guilty."

You laugh gently, smiling at the troll, who seems to redden a little. He looks older than you imagined, he also sounds like more of an asshole.

"Well I'm glad it's over now. What happened with the Condescension?"

Rose looks at a beautiful troll that can only be Kanaya. Her look's almost _longing_ and you find yourself wondering what went on between them these past three years. After a few minutes, she turns back to you with a smile, "We won, Jade. Both the Condesce and Lord English are dead. It was mostly because of Dave and Davesprite. They're... they're _heroes_."

Dave coughs at that, and looks like he wants to speak up, but he doesn't.

You look over at the alphas again, and your eyes catch on Jane, who's now crying into Jake's shoulder, apologising over and over again for what she did.

"Was Jane also...?"

John nods sadly, then smiles, "But I managed to break her tiara so it's all good. She's been out for longer than you, because she was pulled out of her evil trance before the fight even started, but you..."

"You had to fight me?"

"It wasn't fun, believe me, but you didn't really harm any of us too much. I think you wanted us to stay alive so that we could kill Lord English for the batterwitch. Imagine her surprise when we then turned on her when you weren't looking and killed her, too!"

"So that's how she lost her control?"

John glances at Dave, who looks you dead in the eyes. You notice that his glasses aren't on and you wonder if they broke in the fight. You also notice how attractive Dave looks without his glasses on.

"Not exactly, Jade... uh... you see... a lot of things took place and Condy found out... well she found out that she could seperate the animal side of you from the human side using her mind control powers... so once LE died, she did it straight away, and Jadesprite was born again... so... I'm sorry, but you're not really God Tier anymore..."

You reach a hand up to your head and feel the space where your ears used to sit before nodding slowly. Everything starts to hit you all at once.

You're mortal again.

But it's all over.

The game's won.

You look around again, this time actually taking things in, you can now see that Davesprite's talking to Jadesprite and you immediately know how much happier he'll be with her. You then look behind you and notice a large SBURB symbol standing over the group. The bottom right square has a door in it and the trolls seem to be giving it nervous glances, as if they're scared to give this scenario a second chance.

You stand, with the help of John, and walk to the alphas. You give a apologetic look over to Roxy, who smiles widely at you, letting you know that it's all right, then you head over to Jane and help her up.

"You're the leader of your session, right?"

Jane shrugs, "It's sort of more like Roxy and Dirk are, I think. They deserves it more. I was never a good leader, anyways."

You nod, then turn to Roxy and Dirk, helping them both stand with each of your hands.

"Well then I'll just put all three of you down as leaders, and I think it's only best the leaders open these doors to a new world, don't you?" Roxy nods and grabs both Jane's and Dirk's hands in her own, pulling them towards where you had told Karkat and John to wait.

The five of them nod to each other, before heading towards the door. It looked incredibly silly, five teenagers gathered around one door handle, trying not to touch it first and take all the glory.

You look over to Dave while they waste time deciding who deserves to put their hand on the door first (Everyone's voting on John, who's frantically pointing at Karkat), and Dave looks over to you. He knows about what went on with Davesprite, you can tell by the way he's sort of looking at your nose instead of your eyes. You walk over to him to try and say something to reassure him that you're still both his and Davesprite's friend when he takes your hand.

Just grabs it.

He snatches that hand right up like it's nothing.

You blush and look back at the group of leaders bickering for another five minutes.

Eventually they all managed to grab the handle at approximately the same time and they push the door open.

Light engulfs us all.

**Months in the future**.

But not many.

You wake up from another load of nightmares. The memories of when you were grimbark are slowly returning to you, and none of them are happy.

You push your round glasses onto your face and walk outside, taking in the world you and your friends created.

Beautiful doesn't serve this universe justice. It's _breathtaking_.

The bell to your house is ringing and you rush to answer it. Standing there, in his newly disigned God Tier hoodie (oh my god) is Dave. He looks flustered and nervous and you wonder if he's okay before he literally _falls_ onto you.

You catch him easily, "Dave are you drunk?"

"Jade you do know that it's midday, right?"

"Uh... yeah?"

"Meaning it's been my birthday for twelve hours and only ONE person has come over to see me!"

You gasp, "Dave, I'm so sorry! I only just woke up!"

Dave straigtens up, sighing, "S'okay, I was fine playing shot poker with Karkat. He's really good at poker, man."

You giggle at this and lead Dave inside, letting him lie down on your couch with his legs in your lap. The two of you have been dating for a while now and so far it seems to be going better than it went with Davesprite (As in, he never got emotional about you liking his alter self more). It's been eight months since you finished playing SBURB for good. Eight months since you won.

And so far, they've been the best eight months of your life.

* * *

**So yeah.**

**It's Karezi and Spacetime and it'll be about 10 chapters long.**

**And I PROMISE Invincible will come on like Wednesday or something.**

**Thank you for reading, please review :)**


	2. Project Start

**Ok chapter 2's coming up faster than expected because good lord I got three reviews in like 10 hours I'm so happy.**

**Thank you to everyone that sent reviews I love you all.**

**Homestuck doesn't belong to me**

* * *

**Be the not-blind girl.**

You successfully become Terezi Pyrope.

**Observe your dear friend's SW33T LOOT.**

Oh man is this loot SW33T. Karkat's the greatest poker player. You high-five him for the tenth time today, observing the glittering boonbonds that are _piled_ on his table right now.

**Succumb to your extreme sexual tension and make-out.**

Haha. Very funny, command typer.

Sadly, that cannot happen because Karkat's the most awkward little shit you've ever met and if you made out with him he'd probably get flustered and yell at you.

Instead, you just high-five him again and leave this dead end line of story telling to go back to the happy couple that can easily make-out at any time they please.

**Become the happy couple?**

You are now Terezi's ex-boyfriend Dave Strider.

You are so pissed and SO broke it's not even funny.

You look up at your girlfriend and mumble something incoherent about Karkat being left at his place only a little tipsy with an overexcited Terezi and Jade makes a comment about how they're meant for each other or something.

No fuck this you can't think straight.

Let's go back to being Jade.

"I can't believe they aren't together yet it's so incredibly stupid."

"Yeha I know. Isslike... ten stupids."

You giggle at Dave's slurring, drunken speech. He lost half his earnings in that game of poker and you had to call the Lalondes to ask for some good hangover material (Because his hangover is gonna be HUGE).

You decide to take this chance to get him to talk about Karkat's feelings.

"Yeah I mean... it's a shame we shame we don't know how Karkat feels for Terezi... if we did we'd be able to like... get them together..."

You feel terrible for this kind of manipulation but it has to happen.

"Hmmm... I guesh... mmkay I'mma tell you a thing and you can't tell ANYONE okay!?"

You giggle again, then nod slightly, "My lips are sealed, Dave."

"Ok weyull this is meant to be between bros but Karkat's got like the girliest crush on Terezi man it's embarrasin."

Mission accomplished.

And by mission you mean TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR DRUNKEN BOYFRIEND IN ORDER TO GET MEDDLESOME INFORMATION THAT YOU DON'T NEED.

But it's still accomplished so there's that.

You grin at Dave, "I knew it. Ok I think we should do something about this, man."

Dave shakes his head immediately, "That's a bad idea, Jade. We could ruin both their friendshop with each other AND their friendslyness with us. So no."

You shrug. He has a good point so you're not going to argue too much. You know when it's right to admit defeat.

At that moment the doorbell rings Dave rushes to answer it before you can even stand. He throws it open to reveal Karkat and Terezi, the latter with a wide grin on her face.

"I sort of just realised that it's your human wriggling day today, so I'm just dropping by to say happy human wriggling day! Also you should be DAMN lucky I'm leaving the house when it's this HOT!"

Dave grins, "Fanks, Rez."

"Are you drunk? Have you been drinking human soporifics?"

"Nah, man, s'all good I promise"

Karkat sighs heavily, "Yes, he fucking has. That was the thing with shot poker. You take a shot if you lose. Then Dave got so drunk that he started betting boonbucks as well which was incredibly stupid might I add."

Dave and Terezi both punch Karkat at the same time, before the two trolls sort of glance at each other, then at you.

"We'll be going now," Terezi says, giving you the creepy sort of grin that she give to your brother, "So that you can give Dave his _special _sort of gift ifyouknowwhatImean"

Karkat then slams the door so fast you almost lose your nose. Even when he's reached the street, you can still hear the faint curses that mark him scolding Terezi's choice of words.

Dave stays completely still, staring at your door with a look of shock painted across his face. After a few moments, he says one thing.

"Oh man they so need to fuck."

You let out a literal bark of happiness, a habit that you haven't dropped since you lost your God Tierdom, and leap into a hug with Dave.

"Ok then, so it's settled! With us, a drunken teenager and an ex-furry, the official faces behind Project: Karezi!"

* * *

**Yeah so this was basically just a chapter full of tension and plot making even though this is sort of just me throwing a plot onto Karezi and DaveJade being cute?**

**Thank you for reading uwu**


	3. Triple Date

**Oh man I don't even have any comments on how bad this is I'm just gonna post it and then hide in the corner for an hour crying.**

**Also yeah sorry for not uploading yesterday, I was too busy fixing SO many errors (yes, it was once worse than this), so today you'll get another chapter.**

**I don't own Homestuck**

* * *

**Days in the future...**

But not many.

You turn to look at Dave, who's currently spinning his glasses in his hands, chewing his lip raw and holding a phone to his ear.

Eventually, he speaks in a squeaky voice. You listen to what he says with a grin on your face and try your best to decipher what Karkat's saying on the other line.

"Uh, hey, Karkat! Uh... dude, please stop talking... yes, I know we should be grateful... actually that's what I was calling you to say... fuck, no, please don't do this to me now I don't want to listen to your voice, Karkat, I want you to just shut up. Ok, so, uh..." He looks at you and you give him a thumbs-up, "Well, Jade's met this really cool chick that's, uh, y'know, pretty rad and stuff, and she was wondering if you wanted to go on a blind double date thing with us?"

You actually slap your forehead in defeat. Karkat was never in any way going to accept the offer if it was put like-

"Ok then! So we'll meet you both at 6 this afternoon, is that alright? ... Okay then, later."

Dave turns around to see you, mouth agape. He laughs softly, before sitting down next to you on your couch.

You had made small attempts at getting both Karkat and Terezi to move into a romantic kind of situation, but neither of them have even slightly complied yet and after almost a week of this shit you've both figured it was time to just get a goddamned move on.

So Dave called both of his friends (As he was probably the human they'd both be closest to) and organized a 'blind date' with 'one of Jade's friends'.

For some reason, Dave also agreed to make it a fucking double date so now you'll have to sit next to a bickering Karkat for one and a half hours, but hopefully it'll be worth it.

You jump up and look over at the clock, it's 2 in the afternoon and you have no idea what to do for the next four hours. After laying yours and Dave's formal clothes out on your bed and making lunch, the two of you decide to just play Mario Kart to kill time.

By the sixth race, you're doing stupid things like looking backwards for the entire race, or waiting for the CPUs to complete a lap before you and Dave start driving.

After Mario Kart's finished you decide to pull a good last minute trick and you call Kanaya to ask if she wants to tag along to dinner with Rose and make it a triple date so she could use her moirail abilities and pacify Karkat. You expect some sort of scolding from your fellow Space Player (Well, _ex_ Space player), but Kanaya happily agrees, saying that she's been thinking of doing something like this for a long time.

You find yourself feeling much more positive about tonight.

**Be the asshole.**

You successfully turn into Karkat, who is now waiting in front of some fancy restaurant that you don't know that name of.

Kanaya and Rose turned up about three minutes ago, which was a nice surprise, but Dave, Jade and your mystery date are still no-shows.

Judging by the way Kanaya's mothering over you instead of having some sloppy makeouts with Rose, though, you can tell you're not going to like your date all that much, and seeing it was fucking Jade organizing this shit, you have a horrible feeling you know who she is.

Dave's shitty car pulls up on the curb right in front of you and you can hear talking from inside it. Sadly, the windows are tinted so much that you can't see your date, but hearing Jade apologizing profusely pretty much confirms your suspicion.

In a matter of minutes, the rear door opens and out steps a dressed-up Terezi. She looks kind of grumpy at being tricked, but she's also smiling at you like she doesn't really want to go home.

You try to say sorry for getting dragged into this too.

You try to curse Dave's name a million times over, using only the most colourful of swear words.

You try to give Kanaya a death glare for leading you into this shit when she's _meant_ to be acting like an _actual_ moirail.

But instead, all that comes out is "Jegus nookstaining Dolorosa, Terezi, you look..." You catch yourself, clear your throat and try your best to hide the bright red creeping onto your face, "You look great."

**Be the girl of Karkat's affections.**

You are now Terezi Pyrope and you cannot believe you just managed to get Karkat Vantas to compliment your appearance. You feel your cheeks go teal and smile. You think about returning the compliment, but figure that'd probably be too cheesy, so instead you just allow yourself to stare.

Good god, does he look good when he's dressed up.

You glare at Dave one last time before walking up to Karkat and talking about whatever as if you weren't on a fucking date with him.

Oh god...

The realization hits you like a fucking tornado.

You're...

You're on a fucking DATE with Terezi Pyrope.

Somehow you manage to get your legs to move and the six of you head into the restaurant and towards the table that Jade booked three days ago.

They've been planning this.

For.

THREE.

FUCKING.

DAYS.

The table's shaped in a semicircle in the corner of the room. Rose and Kanaya decide to sit between you and Dave as they know you're going to try to rip that asshole's head off, so it ends up being you, Terezi, Kanaya, Rose, Dave and then Jade.

Within five minutes, Rose and Kanaya are talking to each other in hushed voices, using their snarky wits to endlessly flirt with each other. You get a migraine trying to keep up.

Dave and Jade are sitting there joking and laughing and they both end up agreeing to order the two most hard-to-pronounce dishes just to give a shot at saying the name.

You decide to actually do something with your da-

With Terezi.

**Maybe you should complain?**

Complaining was the thing that made her break up with you a sweep and a half ago.

Try again, numbskull.

**Just observe what she's doing now and base your next move off of that.**

You watch Terezi for a moment, trying not to think about how absolutely _stunning_ she is.

She seems to be looking to the corner of the room in longing... what is she...?

Oh, my gog, she's staring at the playground outside.

Wait, no...

She's staring at the fucking colouring-in pages by the door to the playground.

You go to do the gentlemanly thing and ask why the fuck she's staring over there when she speaks, almost as if she could SEE into your MIND.

Like she was the Seer of that aspect or something.

"They have crayons, Karkat..."

You roll your eyes, "So fucking what?"

"I... I haven't actually held a crayon since before we arrived in the new session..."

You look at her, about to repeat your earlier question when it sinks in.

She hasn't _seen_ crayons before... only tasted and smelt them. Back when she was blind, crayons were sort of like her way of communicating. She was always drawing ridiculous things even before you started playing Sgrub and to have something so important taken away from you...

To not have to rely on crayons that way...

You put your hand on Terezi's to comfort her and she wraps her fingers around yours.

Fuck.

That wasn't what you were planning to do, but you're not really complaining either.

Eventually, a waiter comes along and asks what you want to eat. Dave orders a pasta all'arrabbiata and Jade orders pesce all'acqua pazza. The two of them then whip out their phones and Google what the other's dish means before breaking into frenzied laughter.

Kanaya and Rose order pastas and then the waiter turns to you. You glance at the menu and decide to choose something for Terezi's sake. You order a large meat lover's pizza with extra barbeque sauce and Terezi grins at you, before saying she'll share your dish.

You smile warmly at her and her fingers squeeze around yours, making your face heat up.

Oh gog fucking dammit you're falling for her all over again.

* * *

**D'aww Karezi**

**3**

**Feel free to review. Thank you for reading!**


	4. Post Date

**I think there's a pattern here. **

**Long chapter, short chapter, long chapter, short chapter.**

**Yeah, I don't own Homestuck.**

* * *

"You know, for a ridiculously meddlesome date set up by my best bro that should've actually sucked a fucking lot, I didn't hate it."

You sigh, then look over to Terezi, looking for her reaction to the clichéd confession you just made.

"I had so much fun, Karkat, it was great. Especially when that kid came along and dragged you into the playground because you needed to play the monster in his game." She laughs for the first time in who knows how long. Not her 'I can't stop thinking about how sucky I am so maybe I'll just pretend to be happy to cheer everyone else up' laugh, either. It was her genuine Terezi laugh, her insane little cackle that should make you want to projectile vomit a heard of trunkbeasts, but instead it makes you… much happier than you can ever remember being.

Well, Karkat, here you are. Standing in front of the beautiful girl of your dream's house, hand in hand after what would seem to be a perfect date (After the restaurant, Dave took you, Terezi and Jade to the nearest McDonalds to pig out and harass the children while Rose and Kanaya went home to have interspecies sex or something)… You guess there's no other choice now…

**Kiss the girl.**

You kiss Terezi on her cheek, making some murmured comment about how you wouldn't mind doing this again. Terezi smiles kindly and sort of lets go of your hand, though you can see she doesn't want to.

"Well. maybe we can do it again, Karkat... if you... if you want to, I mean..."

You nod "I just fucking said that, idiot."

Terezi laughs gently, "Asshole"

She walks into her home, leaving you much, MUCH happier than you were this morning.

**That was adorbs yo.**

You become the tealblood that just closed the door.

Holy shit that was the most amazing day of your life.

You walk into the lounge room of your hive (even though it's _meant_ to be called a 'house' or something) and start playing the next DVD of CSI: Miami. You have no idea what a Miami is, but the show's very entertaining regardless.

You think about Karkat... he...

He seems to have changed since your fling with him. He's definately more mature, and he's MUCH less rude. He's more open about how he feels, too, which is a major plus. Most importantly is the fact that throughout your entire date, he didn't show even one sign of a caliginous advance.

You pull out your mobile and stare at his number, wondering if you should text him five minutes after your first date...

_First date._

You smile. You never really had dates with him during the session. There was that one time during which you went to his land and sort of made out with him, but that was more of a 'everyone thinks we're on a quest but we're too lazy to do that' kind of thing. There was hardly any romance involved, but now...

Well he's definitely learnt something from all the rom coms he's watched.

You smile at his number, and then lock your phone. You know you should be worried about this, you're falling too hard for him all over again, but something inside you says that nothing wrong's going to happen this time.

Something tells you he was meant to be with you all along...

And you don't really think you'd be too upset about quadrant vacillation this time round, in fact, the only thing keeping you from _wanting _him in every quadrant is-

Your phone rings and you jump so hard it flies into the air. You snatch it up again and look at the caller ID...

Oh, speak of the devil.

You ready yourself to answer the phone. Trying to cling onto the remaining happiness you have. You don't want this douchebag to ruin your night...

You press the answer button and hold the phone to your ear.

And Gamzee Makara's voice speaks out from the other side.

* * *

**idk**

**There you go.**

**I'll try to upload again as soon as possible.**

**Thank you for reading!**


	5. Heartbroken

**Oh man I was all ready to upload the next chapter yesterday when my piece of shit computer freaking CRASHED.**

**I lost it all.**

**The entire chapter.**

**So this isn't as well-written as it could've been because I was just really sick and tired of my laptop being a bag of dicks.**

**Also I was angry at myself for not saving it as much as I should've.**

**I don't own Homestuck.**

* * *

"Shhhh, its okay, Terezi, calm down, its okay."

You rub her shoulder a little and she hiccups against your chest.

"He f-fucking dumped me, Karkat. When I thought I was ready to leave _him_, he turned around and just... just made me feel even more worthless."

You look up at Dave, who's running back and forth from the kitchen, bringing hot chocolate, cookies, Mario Kart, anything to make Terezi happier.

"Terezi, look me in the eyes, okay?" Terezi lifts her face like you ask her. Her pupil colours have come out in the last sweep and she looks... well... beautiful. Even if her face is blue and blotchy from crying. "You trust me, right?"

"With my life."

"Wow, okay, fuck. I wasn't expecting that answer... but ok then, if you trust me, you'll believe me when I say you're not fucking worthless and if you believe otherwise I'll have no choice but to hunt Gamzee down and beat the shit out of him because no one should make you think that, okay?"

Terezi chuckles softly, then nods, straightening up. Jade comes out of the kitchen, where she'd been baking a pie (Jane's been teaching her how to cook for a while now), carrying her Wii and a copy of Mario Kart.

She plugs the game in and the four of you get fat and kart away your feelings until four in the morning, when Terezi (who won all races by a landslide and came out the other side of the game with a perfect score of 480) announces that she's tired. You dibs the couch immediately, but then feel bad for denying Terezi a proper place to sleep, so you build her a pillow mattress that ends up looking more comfortable than your couch.

Terezi seems to notice and take pity on you, so she expands the single pillow bed into a double and you lie down next to her and talk until five O'clock, when you decide to go to sleep. You wait for Terezi to drift off first, then fall asleep yourself soon after.

"Should we wake them?"

"Fuck no."

You hear Jade giggle a little and open your eyes.

The first fucking thing you see is Terezi lying on you.

Not the clichéd fucking gentle head-on-your chest kind of lying either, oh no.

She's fucking laid out across your chest sideways, her legs bent so that he feet are on your face. You grab the nearest large cushion and, after a lot of tactical maneuvering, manage to slide out from under her without waking her up. Dave gives you this knowing fucking glance while Jade lets out this soft 'Awww'. You mouth 'fuck you' to them and hold up your middle finger for about five minutes while you go towards Dave's movie cabinet and look through what he has.

All that the cabinet holds is multiple different 'Game Bro' games and a DVD copy of 'Waiting to Live'. You actually cry a little.

After half an hour of streaming Hitch on Jade's laptop, Dave sits down next to you and just sort of stares at you for a while. You snap the device shut and look at him, frowning.

"What."

Dave leans back a little, shrugging, "Nothing, just... y'know... have you done the thing, man?"

You raise an eyebrow at him, "What the douchefucking gog is 'the thing'?" You glance at Terezi, then look back at Dave, "Oh, you're talking about... fuck um... no let's not have this conversation in a room with the person we're having the conversation about that's a fucking terrible idea."

Dave shrugs, and then shifts so that he can watch Hitch as well, but at this point you've lost interest in the movie. Your eyes are fixed on Terezi, who's still lying on top of your pillow replacement. You wonder briefly how close you _are_ to entering a quadrant with her... you've been on a date with her, made her genuinely smile for the first time in ages, held her hand, kissed her on the cheek, sort of half-organized a second date, hugged her when she was sad, _slept in the same bed with her and had her use you as a pillow_. Those are mostly couple-y things... all that needs to happen now is making it official.

The movie finished and you don't notice until the credits are half-finished. You look over at Dave and then turn back to the laptop, pulling up a sticky note. You write out on it something that takes a fuckton of courage to write, so you hope Dave'll be fucking grateful.

'I THINK I NEED HELP HERE MAN.'

Dave sighs, and then takes control of the keyboard.

'sure ok just mention it im like the fucking help wizard right here'

'im like one of those fucking paper clips in a word document from the 90s'

'I DON'T KNOW WHAT THOSE ARE BUT OK.'

'I THINK I NEED HELP...'

'TEREZI-WISE.'

'oh man this is perfect'

'if jade were here shed joke about you joining project karezi or something oh man'

'PROJECT KAREZI?'

'oh fuck im not meant to tell you about it forget i said anything'

'CONSIDER IT FORGOTTEN. NOW HELP ME, PLEASE.'

'holy shit youre begging me here'

'i guess i have no choice but to comply'

He then closes the note and grabs your attention with a wave of his hand. He points to Terezi, while mouthing 'Allegra', then to Jade, who's lying half-asleep on the couch, 'Sara', then to you, 'Alex'.

You know where this is going, but you still can't hold back the groan when he points to himself with a smirk, mouthing 'Hitch'.

* * *

**So yeah Karkat's in on the project.**

**Thank you for reading this!**


	6. Crime Games and Rom Coms

**guhhhh**

**GUHHHHHH**

**this chapter isnt the greatest but i couldnt be arsed and i needed to move on to the next chapter because thats when things happen**

**so enjoy the torture**

**i dont own homestuck**

* * *

GC: K4RK4T, YOU C4NT T3LL M3 YOUR3 GO1NG OV3R TO D4V3S PL4C3 4G41N  
CG: UH, YEAH, I AM.  
CG: MAYBE I COULD COME OVER YOUR PLACE TONIGHT?

You hold back your sigh. Over the last six days, Karkat's been doing nothing but staying at Dave's place. You've been pestering him once every two days trying to see if you can hang out with him, but all you've gotten so far has been a flustered response and constant rejection.

Something's happening and you're not completely sure whether or not you'll like it when you find out what it is.

GC: W3LL OK TH3N, 4S LONG 4S W3 G3T TO H4NG OUT 3V3NTU4LLY :]

You talk with Karkat for a little while longer, happier now that you know you'll actually be able to see him in person for the first time in a fucking week. You'll probably try to figure out what's happening when he's over your place.

"Dave, this was a terrible fucking idea and I feel stupid for ever having asked for your help."

Dave shakes his head at this, waving away your harsh tone, "Just let Rose and Kanaya fix you up and then she'll totally fall for you. Trust me."

"Trust you? You fucking _know_ Terezi, man, almost as well as I do. If I act like a fucking tool and show up dressed like an asshole than she'll probably just laugh and call me a dork or something, but it won't make her like me any better."

Dave nods slowly, then turns to his sister, "Just make him look presentable. Get rid of the wrinkles that are forming from him frowning so much."

"I don't have fucking wrinkles."

"Oh man you have no idea."

You throw a book at the other Knight, attempting to wound him, then turn to Jade, "Why don't you just give me your consoles and games and we'll just play them long into the night. Don't you have a crime game in there somewhere? She'd like that."

Jade exchanges a look with Dave, then shrugs, "I'll try to see what I can get together"

Rose chuckles softly to herself and you wonder if she knows something you don't. You'd usually turn to Kanaya to ask her about what you're out of the loop about, but apparently she's keeping secrets now, too. You aren't really complaining, though (Yes, you are) seeing as the secrets she keeps usually lead to your wellbeing.

By 8 O'clock, you're standing in front of Terezi's door with a backpack full of video games that you handpicked for her. Jade managed to pack some crime movies into your bag, but you thought that was too much, so instead you added in your laptop, which, thanks to Sollux, is full of multiple genres of movies.

Terezi answers the door looking like what would easily be described as a 'hot mess' and you realise that you've been neglecting her more than you meant to be doing. Then you remember the whole Gamzee-break-up fiasco and you feel even guiltier.

You hold up the bag and Terezi immediately takes you inside, setting up the first game and throwing a controller at you. You play for a while and Terezi talks about how her week's been (You're and idiot, you're an asshole, WHY didn't you visit her sooner!?), eventually you grow tired of fighting crime, so instead you head into the kitchen and make Terezi the most incredible human delicacy you can possibly create.

You make her 2 minute noodles, which you eat while watching a good troll rom com (Wherein the Main Protagonist Sparks Up a Matespritship With His Lifelong Friend, Only To Find That The Threshecutioner She Had Fallen For Was Not, In Fact, Dead; the Main Protagonist Starts a Rivalry With His Redrom Competition and This Leads to Them Dancing For the Heart of Their Flush Crush, Only to Develop Black Tension Between Them; Two Character Deaths; Three On-Screen Kisses and 12 Lines That Can Be Construed as Humorous... it goes on).

It's the most disappointing movie you have ever seen, but Terezi made jokes about it, so there ended up being about 35 lines that can be construed as humorous.

When the movie finishes and the main protagonist manages to get his matesprit to cheer up after the threshecutioner's predictable death, you turn to Terezi and smile, wondering what the two of you could do next...

**You should get into a pillow fight with her!**

Wow what a terrible idea.

**Either pillow fights or sloppy makeouts.**

You grab the pillow nearest you and hit it against Terezi's arm, proposing a fight with her. She immediately grabs her cushion and starts bashing you with it while you flail around underneath her.

**Be Terezi now.**

You manage to be Terezi in the last few seconds of this train wreck of a chapter.

You realize your author is terrible and she can't write chapter endings so you'll need to think of a shitty one-liner to end the chapter on.

Hmmm...

"Hey, Karkat, we should totally kiss."

* * *

**also im sorry for not uploading earlier**

**school sucks**

**thats really all there is to say on the matter**

**thanks for reading!**


	7. Kisses

**hahahahahaha**

**ahahaha**

**aha**

**haa**

**ha**

**ha**

**school is infuriating**

**i dont own homestuck**

* * *

"We should WHAT!?"

You grin at him, feeling like your old self again, "I said we should totally kiss."

It was a very embarrassing thing to say but there's no way in hell you're taking it back now. You shift back from your place on top of him, putting your cushion on the floor next to you.

Karkat sort of talks gibberish for five minutes and you glance at his pillow, which is now void of those feather things. You're kind of unsure about whether or not you read his signs correctly, whether or not he actually does like you...

You look back at Karkat to see that he's just staring at you with wide-eyes, his entire face full of shock. You kind of wish that he was a blusher because that would just complete the humorous picture.

Karkat clears his throat slowly, then gives you the world's most awkward look, "Yeah, we, uh... I wouldn't hate that..."

Oh.

Your face goes teal and you shuffle a little closer to Karkat, who's still lying on the floor in a pile of feathers and humiliation. He sits up slowly and you both glance at each other like fucking wigglers on their first date.

Karkat surprisingly moves first, pulling you in suddenly and pressing his lips against yours. You wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss and soon enough the pair of you are sitting there in a tangle of hormones and Karkat's flailing arms.

You pull away from him and smile softly, before sitting up and clearing your throat, "You're still as bad a kisser as you used to be."

Karkat frowns, "Where the fuck do you expect me to get experience in kissing!? You had fucking Dave and Gamzee over the past three years and all I did was grumble at everyone from the corner!"

You laugh at him, putting a hand on his shoulder to support yourself. He's actually a little red now and you feel _very_ satisfied at the thought that you made Karkat Vantas blush. You lean against him, turning to the TV, which is still fixed on the title screen of the terrible romcom. Karkat's always going on about how much better troll movies are, compared to human movies, but you both know that the simplicity of human romance captivates him.

"So like do you wanna be my matesprit?" Karkat looks over at you when you say that, and his laugh, though gravelly, sounds like heaven.

"Yes, I want to be your fucking matesprit, dumbass."

You grin at him, "Wanna watch rom coms?"

"That's two stupid questions in a row, Terezi, you're on a fucking roll."

* * *

**the chapters are getting shorter and shorter**

**by the final chapter there will be 10 words**

**also yeah karezi :)**

**thanks for reading**


	8. Dream Bubbles

**Haha uploading again.**

**I've found my groove and I'm not letting it go.**

**This is the second last chapter. It kind of has less to do with our newfound Karezi and more to do with losing another ship.**

**Also I've been meaning to say: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!**

**Like wow I didn't think this would be that popular, I was really just doing it for my close friends, but so many people have liked and favourited this, some of you are sending me nice reviews and wow it's so nice.**

**So thank you very much to every single one of you. I love you all so, SO much.**

**Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie.**

* * *

"We did it!"

Jade gives you a strangely forced grin and hi-fives you when you tell her about Karkat and Terezi's success.

"Yeah, and all it took was a juggalo break-up and an awkward double-date." You grin, then turn to Rose, who smiles at the both of you, "Yo Rose did you hear that? Come over here, we're celebrating the end of a long period of awkwardness."

Rose hugs you, chuckling gently, and then looks over at Jade. You have the feeling that something's up. Your sister goes to your kitchen to steal some of your food while you walk up to Jade, wondering what happened.

"Uh... Dave... can we talk?"

"Hey, Kanaya, what's up? You seem a bit bummed."

Kanaya looks up at you from her phone and smiles kindly, "It's nothing, Karkat, I'm fine. I just had... a strange dream last night."

You sit next to your moirail immediately, eyes wide. "You entered a dream bubble, didn't you? Oh fuck, none of us have dreamt since the session ended... did anything happen? Did you see anyone? Was Meenah there? How about Davesprite and Jadesprite? Did Lord English have a dream self?"

Kanaya laughs softly, "Yes, I entered a dream bubble. I don't know why, but I do know that I wasn't the only one to do so. Jade was there, too. I... don't recall seeing Meenah, but I ran into Vriska's dancestor, Aranea. She explained that Lord English did have a dream self at first, but apparently some of the dancestors took him down. A few lost their own lives in the fight." She glances down at her phone and pales a little, hurriedly typing something in.

You begin to ask the obvious question when she shakes her head, "Meenah's okay, Karkat, it was Damara, Mituna, Kankri and..." You give Kanaya a sympathetic look, already guessing what she's about to say "And Porrim"

Jade tears appear in the corner of your moirail's eyes, so you put a hand gently on her shoulder and comfort her until she looks up at you and smiles.

"There is good news, though. John's ring. We've discovered, after a bit of a test run, that it can only work on one person, but no one's been revived completely yet."

"Who was the test run on?"

Kanaya smiles, "Terezi's dancestor, Latula. She tried it out last night and came back to the land of the living for five minutes, then took it off again, saying something along the lines of 'being dead is more my style.' I think she's a little broken up over her matesprit's permanent death."

"So what's got you so sad then? I mean, other than your dancestor's death..."

Kanaya shrugs a little, then looks you in the eyes, "Because I saw Davesprite..."

"Yo, Jade, what's wrong?"

Dave puts a hand on your arm and you turn to him, shaking your head, "I dreamt last night... I was in a dream bubble with Kanaya."

"Woah what really? What happened? Who did you see?"

You sigh, then lift your phone from your pocket and hand it to Dave, showing you the latest of your texts from Kanaya:

GG: im sorry for your loss  
GG: she was one of my favourite dancestors :(  
GA: Yes It Was Quite Hard For Me To Realise She Was Really Gone  
GG: did you see vriska at some point after i woke up?  
GG: or meenah?  
GA: No Sadly I Didnt  
GA: But I Feel That Maybe Our Use Extended Beyond That Of Test Driving Johns Ring  
GA: I Feel That Maybe It Has Something To Do With Our Roles As Space Players  
GG: oh  
GG: but neither of us are god tier anymore  
GA: Yes That Did Occur To Me  
GA: But We Do Have Natural Space Abilities That Dont Require God Tiering  
GA: Maybe They Will Come To Use  
GG: like what?  
GG: breeding frogs?  
GA: I Actually Think It Has More To Do With The Fact That We Were First To Awaken On Prospit Before Our Sessions Started  
GA: Maybe This Is A Hint That Others Will Enter The Dream Bubbles Soon  
GG: that would be brilliant!  
GG: wed be able to see all of our friends again!  
GA: Well At Least Those Who Werent Taken Out By The Tyrant  
GG: oh yeah :/  
GG: i hope dave sprites okay  
GA: Actually On That Subject  
GA: Just Before I Awoke I Had A Quick Conversation With Davesprite  
GA: He Seemed To Be Looking For Your Sprite Counterpart  
GA: I Fear Something Might Have Happened To Her  
GG: oh noooo  
GA: Also He Told Me To Pass A Message Onto You  
GG: ?  
GA: He Said That Hes Sorry For Everything  
GA: That Hes Sorry He Couldnt Be Your Dave  
GG: thats really sad :(  
GA: And Then He Apologised Because He Knew That Would Make You Sad  
GG: :p  
GG: he was always so much more honest than real dave  
GG: i guess living four months in a doomed timeline and losing all of your closest friends does that to you :(  
GG: hey if you manage to run into him before me can you tell him something?  
GA: Id Be Happy To  
GG: can you tell him that id be glad to meet him  
GG: and that im sorry as well  
GG: because i took jade sprite away from him

Dave hands the phone back to you and looks up at you, "So your half-bird, half-me ex got in contact with my sister's girlfriend, so what?"

You shrug slightly, "I guess it's just... I feel bad for him... if he lost Jadesprite, then..."

"Yeah, that'd suck, but I'm sure there are heaps of alternate yous in the dream bubbles."

You frown at Dave, "It's not like that at all! If I died for real would you just move onto another version of me in one of those bubbles?"

"Uhh no, I'd go back in time and sucker punch whatever killed you in the first place."

"Dave, that's how you make a doomed timeline. And I'm not sure Davesprite has any time powers, he's just got sprite powers that make him all mysterious and stuff."

"Well, ok then, assuming you did die and I was completely useless to everyone ever because all I'm good at is making rad jokes and telling people things, I probably would go to the dream bubbles to meet you again. No matter what version, I'd just be happy to see you."

"You don't really get it, do you? That wouldn't be the right _me_. I wouldn't remember finishing the game or getting Karkat and Terezi together... I'd just be a Jade that died a while ago. I wouldn't be _your_ Jade."

Dave shrugs, "Any you's better than no you."

"But that's not the point, Dave, to think you'd just go into the dream bubbles and replace me!"

Dave grabs your shoulders gently, lifting his glasses so that he can look you in the eyes, "Jade, I wouldn't be _replacing_ you; I'd be finding a way to keep myself from falling into an eternal depression after losing you. You're my favourite Jade, that's a given. No other Jade in any dream bubble can compare to you, so if I lost you... I... I wouldn't be able to make it without _some_ version of you"

"So she's really angry at him." You look down at your phone, where Jade had texted you a recount of everything that had happened in her mini-argument with Dave.

Karkat frowns at the ground, "He's such an idiot. Why the fuck would you ever say any of that to anyone, ever!? Even I know that's a bad thing and I'm terrible with relationships."

You shrug, "Well it was quite romantic, save for the replacing part. I'm actually quite surprised Dave managed to say such shockingly beautiful things to her."

"Do you really think Jadesprite's dead, Kanaya?" You shrug, looking at your phone again. You type in a little bit of reassurance to Jade, and then look back up at Karkat, "Well maybe if you do manage to dream again, you can find her with us."

Karkat nods, and then starts telling you about Terezi. You pretend to be interested in what he's saying (You really do care that he managed to fill his quadrant), but your eyes are fixed on your phone, at the latest text Jade has sent to you.

GG: im not sure ill ever see dave the same way again :/

* * *

**All good things must come to an end :]**

**This is actually heartbreaking because DaveJade's my OTP.**

**DaveJade to me is like water to Haru... or like titans to Eren...**

**Maybe books to Jess?**

**Idk.**

**I hear DaveJade and I come running.**

**Thank you for reading this like wow.**


	9. Hitch

**And this is it. The end of Project: Karezi.**

**It's been a long, poorly written journey, guys, and I really couldn't do it without your support.**

**So thank you.**

**Every single one of you.**

**Even if you're reading this 3000 years in the future for your class in ancient human languages and you have literally no idea what a Karezi is, then thank you.**

**I don't own Homestuck.**

* * *

CG: 'THERE ARE HEAPS OF ALTERNATE YOUS IN THE DREAM BUBBLES'.  
CG: YOU REALLY SAID THAT DIDN'T YOU?  
TG: oh man come on dude as if i dont get enough shit from rose  
TG: god damn  
CG: I THINK YOU NEED TO WRITE A FUCKING BOOK,  
CG: 'HOW TO OFFEND A GIRL IN TEN WORDS OR LESS'.  
TG: did you just fucking quote the swan princess  
CG: DOES IT FUCKING MATTER WHAT I DID?  
CG: THE POINT IS,  
CG: YOU FUCKED UP.  
TG: karkat i really dont need you to tell me this shit  
TG: man ive broken her heart and it fucking sucks  
TG: i always told myself i wouldnt blow it with her  
TG: women like jade dont come around often  
TG: actually no fuck that women like jade come around never  
TG: and for her to love a loser like me?  
TG: that was fucking near impossible man  
CG: WOW, SHIT DUDE.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.  
TG: what  
CG: ITS JUST...  
CG: I LITERALLY HAD THIS EXACT SAME CONVERSATION WITH KANAYA A SWEEP AGO.  
CG: HOW IRONIC.  
TG: yes but do you know what the difference is?  
CG: WHAT?  
TG: jade isnt as fucking insane as terezi  
TG: i dont think shell give me a second chance

"John, calm down, seriously."

"You broke up with him!? WHY!?"

"You're making a really huge deal out of this."

You throw your head towards the sky and let out a scream of rage, before violently throwing your remote at the TV, making it fall over backwards.

"John, what the hell, that was the best part!"

"I DO NOT CARE ABOUT GHOST BUSTERS AND ALL OF IT'S GOOD PARTS, JADE, I WANT YOU TO STOP DATING STRIDERS!"

"John, stop freaking out."

"BUT WHY SHOULD I? WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO BREAK DIRK AND ROXY AWAY FROM EACH OTHER SO THAT YOU CAN COMPLETE THE STRIDER CIRCLE!?"

"John..."

"WHAT!?"

"That was really mean."

You sit down, sighing into your hands, "Sorry, Jade, I'm just... angry. Are you sure you're okay?" Your sister sort of just pulls her legs up to her chest and nods.

"Of course I am, John, really. I'll talk to Dave later today and we'll figure it out, I'm sure. Even if we're not together any more I'm positive we'll stay friends."

"Okay then..."

The two of you sit in silence for a stretch of time, then Jade turns to you, "So can you, like, pick the TV up again, or what?"

"Hey, Karkat!"

"Hey, Terezi."

She's acting like she used to, back during the session. You can see this in the way her blue eyes are lit with the kind of determined craziness that they used to have. She runs up to you and lands on you, hugging you close.

You stop yourself from groaning aloud.

_She's not actually this clingy_, you think, _she just knows it pisses you the fuck off._

So of course you return the hug, one-upping her instead of complaining. She takes this as a good sign and steps back with this wicked beautiful grin on her face.

"What's up? You seem a bit down." She asks.

You look at her, wondering if she knows, "Uh... Dave and Jade? They kind of had this fight last week and last night she broke up with him, Terezi."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!? What the fuck do you mean by 'YEAH'!? They're the reason we're together, Terezi, not to mention the fact that Dave's the best friend I've got. It fucking sucks."

Terezi shrugs, "So we just do a little relationship advice reacharound. I'll talk to Jade and you can talk to Dave and we'll get 'em back together again. Our debt to them will be repaid and you'll be able to sleep at night again."

That's actually a really good idea, you think. Fucking Terezi and her Seer-y logic.

"Ok, well... I guess that wouldn't be bad?"

"Radical!" You blink at Terezi, wondering if she picked that word up from her dancestor, "I guess Project DaveJade is a go!"

"No fucking way, dude. I'm not doing that to her, she made her decision and I'm gonna respect that."

"Fuck you, Dave; you're coming to the goddamned dinner."

You groan, looking at the suit that's laid out across your bed. It's a nice suit, you must admit. For someone coming from a culture that thought fashion was stupid, Karkat's got good taste.

"Kanaya made the suit, by the way."

A good taste in moirails, that is.

"Ugh, ok, well who else will be there?"

"Just Terezi and I. Rose thought it best to stay out of this one. Also I think John's gonna try to tag along but if he does I'll just sort of shoo him away, don't worry."

You let out a long, suffering sigh that you know pisses Karkat off, "Fiiiinnnnnnneeeeeeeee. But only if she wants to."

"Sure! I kind of thought it was a bad idea breaking up with him."

"Wait, what?"

You shrug at Terezi, "I mean, if Dave isn't angry at me, I'd love to come along!"

"But I haven't even shown you the lovely dress Rose made just for you." Terezi pulls a lovely black dress out from her sylladex and giggle.

"Well, now I just want to go even more."

"Uhmm... I think I'll have a medium st-"

You interrupt Jade immediately, "She'll have the pasta all'arrabbiata, thank you... And the asshole in the glasses would like pesce all'acqua pazza"

Terezi is in hysterics next to your incorrect pronunciations, but you really don't give a fuck.

"Karkat, what the shit, dude?" Dave frowns at you, "Let the lady order for herself."

You shrug, "I thought you guys loved those meals last time you came here. You know, the whole 'it actually means something like angry pasta and crazy water' thing was kind of awesome."

Dave and Jade look at each other, before turning to you. You think you might've fucked up a little, forcing their cute habits onto each other, but then you realise you don't give a shit, as long as they manage to at least realise their feelings before the end of the day.

"And we'll share a large meatlover's pizza with extra barbeque sauce, thank you."

The waiter looks at all of you, before writing down your orders with a confused expression on his face. He leaves and you start talking to Terezi, deciding to let Dave and Jade do their own thing.

"You look beautiful, by the way." You look up as the really awkward silence is broken.

"Oh, uh... Thanks Dave" You clear your throat and take a drink.

"Listen, Jade... I'm sorry. I sort of realised how sucky I felt when I realised you'd dated Davesprite and not me and it sort of... yeah, it really sucked. I was being selfish and stupid, and I _promise _you, if I ever screw up enough to let anything happen to you, then I would be torn up about it for at _least_ 50 years."

You giggle, "Then what would you do?"

"Well, I'd forge a sword made from tears and memories and hunt down whatever ended you and exact my vicious revenge before moving to the mountaintops and living there for the rest of my days. Maybe I'll bring the Mayor along and there I'll become the sad homeless guy in can town that has a mysterious and depressing backstory."

"And what if I was killed by something like drowning." You notice that Karkat and Terezi have stopped their conversation to listen to Dave's apology. Karkat has this smug little grin on his face.

"Then I will kill the ocean."

"Dave, you can't-"

"I'll kill. The. Ocean. And then we will all die from thirst and I'll be able to finally reunite with you in the dream bubbles. Wait fuck. Wouldn't... wouldn't using John's ring in the first place be the most logical idea? Fuck, why didn't I think of that? Ok I guess the whole mountaintop Can Town idea can be my backup plan for if you double-die in the dream bubbles."

Jade smiles and puts her hand into yours, "Well thank you, Dave. That was the second best apology anyone's ever given me."

"So yeah, now we've found Jadesprite and Latula seems to have gone missing. I kind of think the worst has happened to her... Feferi's being brought back and I think Sollux is kind of really excited to be her matesprit again. I thought there was a thing between him and Aradia but apparently they're just moirails? Also..."

You start to zone out a little as Jade continues to tell stories about her last week in the dream bubbles. You kind of really hated your crazy water shit, so Jade swapped it with the angry pasta and now you're both happy. Karkat and Terezi have gone back to their usual conversation and it seems to really sink in that you actually got those two losers together. You catch Karkat's eyes and he winks at you, then points to himself and mouths 'Hitch'.

You kick him really hard in the shin, and then turn back to your un-ex-girlfriend.

Things are starting to finally look up again.

* * *

**I undid the break up because I can't stand to do that to DaveJade :)**

**Also wow I tried that crazy water shit yesterday. That food is quite bad.**

**Thank you all for reading this :)**


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